Here's the actual Table of Contents for Prisoner of Trebekistan, sans page numbers, which I couldn't figure out how to format neatly here.
Like the index, this may eventually get a musical treatment, maybe over some Al Jarreau-style scat singing or maybe a reggae thing. Why? I have no idea. Just seems amusing.
Chapter One : Why Alex May Not Have A Physical Body
Also, Choosing The Correct Millisecond
Chapter Two: A Complete Inability To Learn From Failure
Also, Incompetence, Ignorance, and Clumsiness
Chapter Three: The Thing That Came From Merv's Dining Room
Also, A Hiawatha Much Bigger Than Yours
Chapter Four: Close Your Eyes, Breathe Deeply, And Scream
Also, I Discover More In My Head Than Just Knowledge
Chapter Five: Halloween Comes Suddenly
Also, Scandalous Thoughts About Ned Flanders's Wife
Chapter Six: Thinking Ahead While Not Thinking At All
Also, Safety Instructions For Your Jeopardy Weapon
Chapter Seven: How Everything Is Connected
Also, Twenty-One Interesting Uses For Rubber
Chapter Eight: Evening Falls
Also, A Fifty-Foot Wall In My Head
Chapter Nine: Fun With Howards End
Also, I Kick William Shakespeare's Ass
Chapter Ten: The Longest Day
Also, I Am Attacked By Ravenous Badgers
Chapter Eleven: The War Comes Home
Also, Detaching My Althing From My Knesset
Chapter Twelve: Jeopardy Fever
Also, I Am Ambushed By The Bishop Of Hippo
Chapter Thirteen: Facing The Think Music
Also, Strangers Seize Me By The Udder And Yank
Chapter Fourteen: We're Malaysia-Bound
Also, Why People Are Looking At Me Funny In This Coffee Shop
Chapter Fifteen: A Hail Mary For Anthony Hopkins
Also, Fishing Up The Urethra
Chapter Sixteen: Things To Do On Jeopardy When You're Dead
Also, Private Moments With Mrs. Butterworth
Chapter Seventeen: A Pep Talk From President Garfield
Also, What I Bought From The J.H. Gilbert Co. Of Willoughby, Ohio
Chapter Eighteen: Greed, A Quick Smush, And A Shameful Little Booby
Also, I Help With Another Howard's End
Chapter Nineteen: Jane
Also, Jane
Chapter Twenty: The Importance of Memory In Recovery
Also, A Brief Look At Estonian Revolutionary Movements
Chapter Twenty-One: My Life As A Rockette
Also, Why I Have An Ancient Civilization In My Pants
Chapter Twenty-Two: Attack Of The Pudu
Also, I Get Lost In Africa, And Not For the Last Time
Chapter Twenty-Three: Love, Kindness, And An Old Chicken Sandwich
Also, Why Penguins Throw Up Down Under
Chapter Twenty-Four: The Ultimate Tournament
Also, I Swear Off the Weapon
Chapter Twenty-Five: Not Quite Letting Go Of Outcome
Also, A Massive Explosion Caught Live On Videotape
Chapter Twenty-Six: Where All Knowledge Is Kept
Also, Eleven More Sentences That Are Actually True
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Book ToC
