My 5-Continent Midlife-Crisis Round-The-World Trip

December 2003

Too many elephants running around, see.  Somebody's got to do something.

Wow. Definitely not in Malaysia anymore.

The cultural shift was also evident from the driving habits of the locals.

In Penang, I merely thought the cab driver who drove me to the airport was either a) suicidal or b) a frustrated astronaut trying to re-live eccentric G-force experiences. In Bangkok, however, most drivers (cabbies and civilians alike) apparently moonlight as trained assassins, using their fenders as weapons.

In Singapore, jaywalking is unthinkable: pedestrians have wide sidewalks and clear rights of way, while in Kuala Lumpur, jaywalking is a useful urban skill: pedestrians regard a BMW in the shins as a minor nuisance, nothing more. But in Bangkok, jaywalking is a sign that somebody didn't love you enough, and it's time to end it all: pedestrians are hunted and killed as large game.

Right this very minute, I half-expect a car to come careening through the window of this Internet caf